Monday, May 07, 2007

The Pottery... Good God, The Pottery!!!

Utterly off-topic, but I just have to share my anguish with the wider world. My girlfriend made me go to a pottery festival this weekend.

Let me be clear: Before the festival, I had no interest whatsoever in pottery.

After the festival, I now think I hate pottery, at least as an art form.

There were, I think, three types of pottery on display:

  1. Stuff that looks like you could buy it at Wal-Mart. Boring, probably functional, and not at all worth wasting all of Saturday to go see.
  2. "Face" pottery, that is, potter that has faces on it. Ugly-ass faces. Usually done in red. This is apparently some kind of North Carolina tradition, likely invented to keep people from moving here by convincing them North Carolinians are fucking nuts.
  3. Weird-ass shit that isn't cool or interesting. Stuff obviously inspired by Cthulhu but not quite Cthulhu, and not different in an interesting way. Stuff that just looks like shards of broken pottery (that's what makes it cool, you see?) but is boring and mundane otherwise. And other such things.

The only thing worse I have been taken to, that I can think of off my head, was when my grandfather took me to a sauerkraut festival when I was a kid. It was worse primarily because sauerkraut made my vomit when I was younger. Literally.

I told a co-worker that the only way it could have been worse is if someone had been with us who punched me in the nuts every ten minutes or so.

Good god, the pottery!!!


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