I Didn't Make the List

According to Newsweek, right-wing nutbag Dinesh D'Souza has published a book that is basically a "domestic enemies" list. He claims the people on this list, including pretty much the entire left, are "working in tandem with [Osama] bin Laden to defeat Bush." As if Bush wasn't doing enough to defeat himself.

But the worrying thing here is that Ted Kennedy is on top of that list, not me. Let me dig out the Employee Work Plan that Osama gave me at my Employee Evaluation last year. All of us on the left got them, of course. Let's see... there it is. Yep, right there, under Employee Performance Goals:

"Become Dinesh D'Souza's #1 Enemy in the Next Year."

Darnit! I'm in trouble when I get this year's evalutation. I guess I shoulda done more. Damn Ted Kennedy! Always stealing my thunder. Do you think that I can get unemployment if Osama fires me? I wonder if he'll give me a good reference...

What's really nutty about D'Souza's analysis is the tortured logic that the left is both the reason bin Laden attacked us -- because of the left's debauched ways in fighting for evils like gender equality and end of discrimination based on sexual orientation -- and also the ones working with bin Laden to destroy American from within as "domestic terrorists."

Now, c'mon, Dinesh, you gotta pick one crazy theory or the other and stick with it. Either the left are bin Laden's super-secret domestic terrorist allies, or we're the evil darkness within that bin Laden wants to destroy. We can't be both. It just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, when you're spouting complete self-serving bullshit, you could at least spout logical self-serving bullshit. When your lies don't even make sense it just makes it too damned easy.